Fatal Fascination...

I love sex.
I love everything about sex.
I love reading about the raunchy sideline accounts in Penthouse Letters.
I love the sex-starved nymphomaniacs that lay 'splashed' all over the covers of magazines, poster titles, dossiers in porno treasure troves and the walls of snatch-land.
I go insane over women when they involve themselves in lewd but tasteful acts of flesh violation.
I go gaga over women's googoos.
In short - I'm 'horny'

But ever since puberty took its toll on my good-boy image and my libido began to stir violently, I made an undaunting effort to understand more about the carnality of coition.

And it was then I came across something that appeared uncannily disorienting.
I began to learn that there survived rutty men and women who indulged in severe 'necrophilic' - if ever there exists a word like that - activities.
And I chewed over this concept for days and I finally thought of penning what I thought was just plain weird.

Take this particular situation where the subject comes home after a long exhaustive day of work and he cleanses his soul temple. He sits down to his movie and somewhere in between he begins to feel his testosterone filled heat-seeker doing jumpin jay-joops. He's flung wildly into the throes of a morbid sexual desire for the rotting. So he gathers his carriage and you'd think he was heading for the nearest porno cruiser store for his anonymous oral tryst. Instead he makes a detour and heads off past a clearing into a cold and nocturnal necropolis. He drives around his smorgasbord of dead meat and stops at a particularly fleshy patch of earth and begins to exhume his golliwog.

And now it lies there, awaiting coitus for after'life'.

He's there...it's there, and now what? Does he stick his ramrod into its waiting slit, right away or does he grease it first, say a few prayers for the dead - may their bowl rest in puss, does he exorcise the demon within the vicinity before he takes the 'plunge'? And if during this assignation he wants to get a little cocky with the deceased he may just try and give it a hickey and want some domination in return. But he's not going to get any of it considering he's doing it with Zombie-woman. If the night isn't too cold he'd be lucky enough to make it out of there with his pecker safe from cryogenifying into a micro stalactite.

Its even more an effort for her. While he just has to stick it in she would have to look for one who passed away with a stiffy and wait till rigor mortis sets in. Of course, that would be a complete refinement to the lexical meaning of 'boner'. And if she considers performing a round of fellatio and ends up treating the dipstick to a stronger than usual suction she could end up with a mouthful. Absolute caution is to be adhered to if she needs to avoid breaking any muscle - else she's never going to be needing a diaphragm...ever.

(Please excuse me, while I barf my guts out, Blech!)