Aye' purdy missus, I see you wuz starin at me across the hall. You wanna tell me why?
Well you knaow kind sir I wiz just traayin to grab hold onto yaw attention. You look so strawng and maynly. Nothing like the ol' coots out here.
Well I'll be damned. You one faa'in looking damsel y'self. What's your na'im?
It's Amy..Amy Wallace. And what name do you go bah sir?
They call me Xane Cooper. I'm due for draw in another few minutes. I don't gawt much time on mah hands.
OH! Are you the Marshall the papers talk about everyday?
*Tipping his hat* At your service ma'am.
And you're draw'n against Slick Sam?
Th's right. *tapping his gun and I don't mean his member* I shaane'd the ol' spitter out here reel good.
The whole town's waiting to play cards on his corpse.
Well he's destined to come in the way of my silver...and he gonna wish he'd remained in dat forsaken ol' barn of his before he breathes his layst.
Mmmmm...you go there and teach him a good enough lesson. Yessr, you do dat.
I most certainly will young lady. *Taking one good long stare at the map overhead - reality struck him like his dead missus' sorry flower patch* Y'know, I ma'it not come out all frisky out of this predicament luv so just to keep the ghost of ol' Billy in me would you be so kaaind as to explain as to why you got the map o' Terrence O'Donald out here???? Thats the route to mah gold mine you snotty little maggot!!!! Who sent you..you stupid ol' crab????
*Standing up with all the forcefulness of all outlaw-ish gait, she extracts a 'Pepperbox' out of her stocking* Awrighty then, bubba!! I'm gonna waste you like some reeal durrty vermin. You been winnin' way too long for your own good. I'm gonna make you wish you ne'er entered this town.
*Vigilant* Why you...
Shuddup. You ain't fah'ting mah man, y'hear?? And as for the map well lets just say...I've got a boot for you.
And it was then that then that Xane could kiss his treacherous mates for taking off with the loot a week ago. He'd rather have been victim to betrayal from thieving bandits than lose his ingots to a scheming vixen (heehee, I crack myself up so.)
Well you knaow kind sir I wiz just traayin to grab hold onto yaw attention. You look so strawng and maynly. Nothing like the ol' coots out here.
Well I'll be damned. You one faa'in looking damsel y'self. What's your na'im?
It's Amy..Amy Wallace. And what name do you go bah sir?
They call me Xane Cooper. I'm due for draw in another few minutes. I don't gawt much time on mah hands.
OH! Are you the Marshall the papers talk about everyday?
*Tipping his hat* At your service ma'am.
And you're draw'n against Slick Sam?
Th's right. *tapping his gun and I don't mean his member* I shaane'd the ol' spitter out here reel good.
The whole town's waiting to play cards on his corpse.
Well he's destined to come in the way of my silver...and he gonna wish he'd remained in dat forsaken ol' barn of his before he breathes his layst.
Mmmmm...you go there and teach him a good enough lesson. Yessr, you do dat.
I most certainly will young lady. *Taking one good long stare at the map overhead - reality struck him like his dead missus' sorry flower patch* Y'know, I ma'it not come out all frisky out of this predicament luv so just to keep the ghost of ol' Billy in me would you be so kaaind as to explain as to why you got the map o' Terrence O'Donald out here???? Thats the route to mah gold mine you snotty little maggot!!!! Who sent you..you stupid ol' crab????
*Standing up with all the forcefulness of all outlaw-ish gait, she extracts a 'Pepperbox' out of her stocking* Awrighty then, bubba!! I'm gonna waste you like some reeal durrty vermin. You been winnin' way too long for your own good. I'm gonna make you wish you ne'er entered this town.
*Vigilant* Why you...
Shuddup. You ain't fah'ting mah man, y'hear?? And as for the map well lets just say...I've got a boot for you.
And it was then that then that Xane could kiss his treacherous mates for taking off with the loot a week ago. He'd rather have been victim to betrayal from thieving bandits than lose his ingots to a scheming vixen (heehee, I crack myself up so.)
My Tryst with '15 minutes in Vermeer'.
The image didn't strike a literary chord anywhere in my osteoporosis ridden body. Though I took an eon and a half to post this piece, I took 35 minutes for writing and editing. Don't hate me, I didn't know Vermeer!!!
4 comments:
Unliterary nonsense! The masters would frown upon you...but it's HEE-LAY-REE-YES!!!!
Funny stuff. Laughed so much my ingots hurt.
This one is ma personal favourite... keep more of these coming fella
it may have taken u a while to write this one, but i liked it....
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