Jin Tao Ling and Rishab Afaq, both opulent members of the Ludovico En' Dante Metaphysical Forum of Grand Fenwick, sit at the coffee table of the reform club trying to decide on a new topic of discussion.
Little are they aware of how they are soon to revolutionise standard procedures of a very commonly executed activity of everyday life.
Jin and Rishab are also thoughtfully executing fluent gaming tactics in their heads whilst also playing Oware - a known variant of the famous Mancala games. The heat of Beirut does not cause the illustrious pair to turn their undaunted focus from the stone tablet before them.
Jin looks up from the game and mutters out loudly, "I am going to lose and you know it, so stop this and let us go into the reading room for some cockscomb and some cornsmut, I do believe I'm starving something furious."
Rishab nods his approval, takes the tablet back to the gaming cupboard and parks it back into its alloted space.
They both walk towards the teak sanctuary at the end of the foyer, now prestigiously titled 'Durban'.
Inside are slothful seniors sitting around, sipping - some on cuban coffee, some on clay oven whisky, while some touching base with some mild opiates.
The gentlemen walk over to Butrus, the host of the saloon, who immediately guides them to a modest space wherein they are taken care of with port, succulent hors d'oeuvres, pipes, tobacco, opium and colombian cocaine. The pair thank their patron and sit down to enjoy the remaining of the evening.
"What should the topic for tomorrow be?" inquires Jin.
"Cows"
"Cows?"
"Cows"
"By cows, you surely do not mean the mature female of domestic cattle of which the male is called `bull'"
"I most certainly do"
"You have been smoking some very expensive hashish my dear friend and I think the price for such savoury herbs is finally rendered you daft? I daresay...cows?"
"Cows are essential to our life on this planet"
"Certainly so, without much doubt, but it surely isn't the appropriate topic for the crowd at the the forum."
"Do you use pegs at home?"
"Pegs?"
"Pegs"
"Clothes pegs?"
"Yes."
"Of course, I do."
"We shall combine pegs and cows and have this discussion."
"Pegs and cows, you are most certainly joking sir. How are we to bring together the correlation of two such disparate variants?"
Rishab picks up the pipe lying beside him and ushers the attendant to his side to help him with the task of filling the opium and lighting it. The attendant performs his task in a most impeccable manner and leaves Rishab with a nicely lit pipe.
Standard smoking room etiquette dictates the smoker to avoid expiring smoke in short stiff winds into the air, but rather to let the fume creep itself out from between the lips and let it hover and cloud above oneself.
Rishab smokes and smiles at Jin Tao, as if he is going to reveal something that no one had ever heard of before.
"The possibilities of combining the two concepts are endless and the patents that may be provided will be very rewarding."
"I don't believe I understand," asks Jin Tao pleasantly puzzled by now.
"Allow me to clarify. Are you aware of the painstaking labour that is assigned into the task of extracting the milk for your early morning coffee?"
"I've never thought it a necessity, although now you make it seem quite a phenomenon."
"It is, no doubt. In fact, the government secretly plans to provide gracious subsidies to the institution or individual who manages to come out with a widely operative and efficient manner to milking cows."
"How strange, although I'm still dubious about its viability. Have you considered a solution?"
"Therein is felt the presence of the inimitable peg."
"My ears are yours as long as this conversation extends."
"If one manages to agitate the udders of the cow via the clamping of a clothes peg then we have in our hand, a solution."
"Maybe so, but then udders require significant amount of constant stimulus to allow for the milk to eject the tracts."
"I've thought of that as well, a thin string tied to the peg can very well solve this purpose."
"I don't see the particular advantage in this procedure. It isn't very different from the one that is being widely followed all over the world now."
"Aha! This procedure significantly reduces the risk of the dairyman being attacked by a vindictive cow. It is also a great way to avoid being the bureau for cattle defecation while milking."
"Hmmm, I see. But, we need more substantial benefits if we are to honestly have our discovery approved by the notary."
"The procedure also allows for multiple cows to be milked at a single point in time."
"How so?"
"Have all the cows fitted with pegs having strings attached to them and extend the strings to the corner where the dairyman sits, milking the cows. All he needs to do is keep pulling on the string for as long as the process requires it.
"Hmmm, interesting , although the pulling need not necessarily be manual. It may be automated via the use of a pulley, a crank shaft and some coal. I have the design lying in my office. I can do the necessary modifications."
"Excellent! I don't think there's a better way to approach this."
"There exists something called a V-belt. It was designed by a colleague of mine from Portmouth - Bartley Colemn. It's a belt that rests on a contraption, that when wired by electricity and allows for one to place one's buttocks on it, allows for a relaxing way to chisel and sculpt a rear, close to that of Adonis."
"Okay, but does this add to our ideas?"
"In a simple way, yes."
"How so?"
"Well if we sit a cow onto an extended machine of sorts and switch on the equipment, and keep milking him at the same time, we should be able to procure ourselves a healthy flow of milk shake, don't you think?"
Little are they aware of how they are soon to revolutionise standard procedures of a very commonly executed activity of everyday life.
Jin and Rishab are also thoughtfully executing fluent gaming tactics in their heads whilst also playing Oware - a known variant of the famous Mancala games. The heat of Beirut does not cause the illustrious pair to turn their undaunted focus from the stone tablet before them.
Jin looks up from the game and mutters out loudly, "I am going to lose and you know it, so stop this and let us go into the reading room for some cockscomb and some cornsmut, I do believe I'm starving something furious."
Rishab nods his approval, takes the tablet back to the gaming cupboard and parks it back into its alloted space.
They both walk towards the teak sanctuary at the end of the foyer, now prestigiously titled 'Durban'.
Inside are slothful seniors sitting around, sipping - some on cuban coffee, some on clay oven whisky, while some touching base with some mild opiates.
The gentlemen walk over to Butrus, the host of the saloon, who immediately guides them to a modest space wherein they are taken care of with port, succulent hors d'oeuvres, pipes, tobacco, opium and colombian cocaine. The pair thank their patron and sit down to enjoy the remaining of the evening.
"What should the topic for tomorrow be?" inquires Jin.
"Cows"
"Cows?"
"Cows"
"By cows, you surely do not mean the mature female of domestic cattle of which the male is called `bull'"
"I most certainly do"
"You have been smoking some very expensive hashish my dear friend and I think the price for such savoury herbs is finally rendered you daft? I daresay...cows?"
"Cows are essential to our life on this planet"
"Certainly so, without much doubt, but it surely isn't the appropriate topic for the crowd at the the forum."
"Do you use pegs at home?"
"Pegs?"
"Pegs"
"Clothes pegs?"
"Yes."
"Of course, I do."
"We shall combine pegs and cows and have this discussion."
"Pegs and cows, you are most certainly joking sir. How are we to bring together the correlation of two such disparate variants?"
Rishab picks up the pipe lying beside him and ushers the attendant to his side to help him with the task of filling the opium and lighting it. The attendant performs his task in a most impeccable manner and leaves Rishab with a nicely lit pipe.
Standard smoking room etiquette dictates the smoker to avoid expiring smoke in short stiff winds into the air, but rather to let the fume creep itself out from between the lips and let it hover and cloud above oneself.
Rishab smokes and smiles at Jin Tao, as if he is going to reveal something that no one had ever heard of before.
"The possibilities of combining the two concepts are endless and the patents that may be provided will be very rewarding."
"I don't believe I understand," asks Jin Tao pleasantly puzzled by now.
"Allow me to clarify. Are you aware of the painstaking labour that is assigned into the task of extracting the milk for your early morning coffee?"
"I've never thought it a necessity, although now you make it seem quite a phenomenon."
"It is, no doubt. In fact, the government secretly plans to provide gracious subsidies to the institution or individual who manages to come out with a widely operative and efficient manner to milking cows."
"How strange, although I'm still dubious about its viability. Have you considered a solution?"
"Therein is felt the presence of the inimitable peg."
"My ears are yours as long as this conversation extends."
"If one manages to agitate the udders of the cow via the clamping of a clothes peg then we have in our hand, a solution."
"Maybe so, but then udders require significant amount of constant stimulus to allow for the milk to eject the tracts."
"I've thought of that as well, a thin string tied to the peg can very well solve this purpose."
"I don't see the particular advantage in this procedure. It isn't very different from the one that is being widely followed all over the world now."
"Aha! This procedure significantly reduces the risk of the dairyman being attacked by a vindictive cow. It is also a great way to avoid being the bureau for cattle defecation while milking."
"Hmmm, I see. But, we need more substantial benefits if we are to honestly have our discovery approved by the notary."
"The procedure also allows for multiple cows to be milked at a single point in time."
"How so?"
"Have all the cows fitted with pegs having strings attached to them and extend the strings to the corner where the dairyman sits, milking the cows. All he needs to do is keep pulling on the string for as long as the process requires it.
"Hmmm, interesting , although the pulling need not necessarily be manual. It may be automated via the use of a pulley, a crank shaft and some coal. I have the design lying in my office. I can do the necessary modifications."
"Excellent! I don't think there's a better way to approach this."
"There exists something called a V-belt. It was designed by a colleague of mine from Portmouth - Bartley Colemn. It's a belt that rests on a contraption, that when wired by electricity and allows for one to place one's buttocks on it, allows for a relaxing way to chisel and sculpt a rear, close to that of Adonis."
"Okay, but does this add to our ideas?"
"In a simple way, yes."
"How so?"
"Well if we sit a cow onto an extended machine of sorts and switch on the equipment, and keep milking him at the same time, we should be able to procure ourselves a healthy flow of milk shake, don't you think?"
3 comments:
HAHAHAHAHAHA...funny all the way
If Jinwin and Rishi disguise themselves as elitist gentlemen who sit in quaint clubs in the middle east, it does not make their stupid inventions any more plausible!
Stupid???? This is art darling. Fresh, untainted and the result of painstaking moments of pfaff.
Also you need to be swalpa sent.
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